Some days, it seems that everybody is clamoring for your attention. But when it comes to family members, it's important that you give it to them. Ten minutes often is not enough to really get started talking, but it shows your loved ones that you care deeply about what troubles them and that you want to help. Even if your help is just listening to them vent, do it. You can always set aside another ten minutes to continue the discussion at a later time. Consider the alternative. Brushing them aside for more urgent matters sends the wrong signal....
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Do what you do so well that they will want to see it again and bring their friends. Walt Disney
Wednesday
Make a Video Record of an Elderly Family Member Sharing Memories
Before a parent, grandparent, great aunt, or great uncle gets any older, ask him or her to join you for a videotaped chat. Make it informal and begin with easy questions that can serve as points of departure into his story. When were you born? What town, village, or city? What country? Who were your parents? What kind of work did they do? Then ask open-ended questions. Tell me about your earliest memories? What was life like for you growing up in your town? Ask questions about certain periods in his life such as pre-adolescent, teen, young adult,...
Tuesday
Make a Birthday Card Instead of Buying One
Get the whole family involved in making a card for that special birthday gal. A sheet or two of colored paper, paste, scissors, colored pens, and some magazines are all you need to make a great, personalized birthday card guaranteed to evoke smiles of appreciation. Find birthday greetings on the Internet or make up your own. Use the magazines for images or words. You may decide that making a card that says exactly what you want is way more fun than perusing dozens of cards on a store shelf. Oh, and since it costs nothing when you already have the...
How to Prepare Specific Action Steps
Today, I would like to share something about goal-setting
and preparing for specific action steps. These are the things that will help
you achieve your goals. If you follow the technique to have a measurable goal,
then this is it.
Think of it as a guide when you’re traveling to a
specific place and you don’t want to get lost on the way. Obviously, your first
instinct is to focus on your route and not more on your destination. After all,
you’ll...
Monday
Learn Three Conflict Resolution Techniques and Use Them Regularly
Three basic mechanisms for dealing with conflict are avoidance, accommodation, and collaboration. Use conflict resolution techniques on a regular basis when you are dealing with family conflicts and disagreements. For example, when you are putting masking tape on the floor of the family room in order to separate your children from each other because you can't stand their incessant arguing, do so with a calm, thoughtful, and respectful demeanor. Show them what courtesy, kindness, empathy, and understanding look like. Listen to both sides and demonstrate...
Sunday
Help Children Understand Why Grandparents Are Family Treasures
If your children have grown up with grandparents around, they are truly lucky. Grandparents are repositories of memories and details of a bygone era and as such are often treasure troves of information for younger generations. Encourage lively discourse between the older and younger generations of your family. Teach your children why their grandparents are so special. Encourage them to do an oral history project, interviewing their grandparents for true stories about growing up in a different time (and possibly place) in the wor...
Saturday
Learn How to Be a Better Parent
If you want to be the best parent you can be, sign up for a parenting class. Such classes often can be found through parent teacher organizations, local adult education courses, the family court system, and even online. Learn what to expect from your child as he or she goes through various stages to adulthood. Discover techniques for discipline that do not involve yelling, spanking, screaming, or arguing. Understand why children need boundaries and guidelines as they grow. Invest a little time in becoming a better parent if you want to raise strong,...
Friday
Repeat Your Friend's Words Back to Him
The art of actively listening means to be totally engaged when someone is talking to you. When you truly make an effort to understand others, they appreciate it. Consequently, your relationships with them are strengthened. Make sure you truly understand what your friend tells you by repeating his words back to him. You could start with, “I want to make sure I understand what you're telling me.” Express your understanding of what he's saying and if it isn't right, he'll correct you. Listen without judging. Be fully present. Pay attention. Your relationships...
Be the Kind of Friend You Want to Attract
If you are seeking loyalty and trust in your friendships or the romantic relationship you hope to have, first cultivate those qualities within yourself and then demonstrate them to others. In so doing, you become a magnet for exactly what you want. Similarly, if you seek a gentle, loving spirit for a life partner, avoid someone with a mercurial, volatile, and temperamental nature. Although opposites do sometimes attract, you'll most likely be happiest with a kindred spir...
Thursday
Be the Kind of Friend You Want to Attract
If you are seeking loyalty and trust in your friendships or the romantic relationship you hope to have, first cultivate those qualities within yourself and then demonstrate them to others. In so doing, you become a magnet for exactly what you want. Similarly, if you seek a gentle, loving spirit for a life partner, avoid someone with a mercurial, volatile, and temperamental nature. Although opposites do sometimes attract, you'll most likely be happiest with a kindred spir...
Wednesday
Write “I Love You” on a Note and Tuck It Under Your Partner's Pillow
Leave love to its own devices or take some action to evoke a response from your lover. Write a simple “I love you” note and tuck it under your partner's pillow to be found when it's time for bed or after you have already left for the day. Such a simple act will call up strong, loving feelings in him during your absence. Expect a call, possibly the delivery of some flowers, or lots of attention. Want a double dose of happiness? Try it and see for yourself the resul...
Tuesday
List Ten Physical Attributes You Desire in a Mate
If you are unattached and looking for that special someone, this exercise will not only be fun but it could produce exciting results. Law of attraction experts say that when you know exactly what you want, it is easier to attract it. Make a list of the top ten physical attributes you'd like in a potential mate. If you have trouble, close your eyes and visualize this person walking toward you. What does he look like? What does his walk or gait say about him? As he gets closer, can you tell if he is taller than you, the same size, or shorter? If...
Monday
Make a Ten-Point List of What's Really Important to You
Millions of people live their lives without a sense of direction. Unless you know what is really important to you and what you want out of life, how are you going to know where you are going, how to get what you want, and what your life purpose is? Think of ten things that are really important to you, for example, family unity. Then make each item as specific as possible. Instead of family unity, maybe you really mean eating meals together, working on the chores together, or praying together. Refine the ten things on your list until you know exactly...
Sunday
Practice a Random Act of Kindness Every Day
Push the buttons in the elevator for a fellow rider. Help an elderly person up the steps of a building, a subway exit, or onto a bus. Pick up an item that someone drops. Put your pocket change into a charity box. Invite a fellow shopper to move ahead of you in the check-out line. Shovel the snow off your neighbor's walk. Offer to let someone share your umbrella. Random acts of kindness require very little effort but pay great dividends in the good karma and personal happiness they genera...
Saturday
Become More Tolerant
When was the last time you tried to understand a bias you hold toward something or someone? If it's been a while, now might be the right time to revisit your beliefs. Growing up, many people consciously and unconsciously absorb the biases of their family members, associates, friends, and peers. When you let go of intolerant biases and recognize and respect the beliefs of others, you are practicing tolerance. Consider one or more of the beliefs you still hold. Perhaps your beloved grandmother told you that things would never change or the father...
Friday
Memorize a Prayer, Affirmation, or Piece of Spiritual Writing
Not only is it good for your brain, but memorization of a prayer, affirmation, or a piece of profound spiritual writing can provide solace and comfort in times of crisis or deep emotional distress and give you peace. If you were a Christian growing up in America, you may have been expected to memorize the Lord's Prayer, one or more of the psalms or proverbs, or New Testament verses. In other religious traditions, too, there are prayers and religious texts, mantras, and sacred verses that followers can memorize. So close your eyes, open your heart,...
Thursday
Nourish Your Inner Being
Nourish your inner being by diving into meditative reflection, centering and grounding yourself, and endeavoring to deepen the experience. According to Harvard scientist Herbert Benson, who has conducted studies on Buddhist meditation and the effects of the mind on the body, when you turn inward through meditation, complex activity in the brain (as seen on MRI brain scans) takes place. That activity actually calms the body, reduces stress levels, and promotes healing. Eventually a period of quietude is reached and as your concentration deepens,...
Wednesday
Memorize a Funny Joke and Share It
Heard any good jokes lately? Have you tried passing them on? Telling a funny joke is a terrific way to cheer up others, defuse tense situations, add much-needed levity in times of stress, and generate some positive effects on your health. Memorizing a joke and telling it to others is just one way to cultivate a sense of humor. Did you know that laughing may actually reduce your risk for heart disease and can mitigate damage incurred when you are experiencing deep distress and pain? Also, some sources say that while sniffles, sneezes, and coughing...
Tuesday
Release the Past and Appreciate the Present
You can never go back to previous moments or past events. Once you have moved through them, they are forever gone. Whatever is in the past that haunts you or makes you sad or fearful necessarily stays there. It cannot be undone. If some past event or encounter still bothers you, do what you can to process through it and let it go. You alone give it the power it has over you. Release it and instead focus on the present moment. Be mindful right now of where you are, who you are, and what you are doing. Paying attention to and being fully present...
Monday
Cook Your Favorite Dish for Yourself
Cook up something spectacular such as the comfort food of your childhood, an exotic creation you first tasted on your honeymoon, or even a savory palate-pleaser you learned to cook when you were dating that foreign guy or girl. If you are a working parent, then it's unlikely you ever cook just to please yourself. So once in a while, cook what you want to eat instead of only what the kids will eat. They can nibble on pizza, ordered in, while you happily savor every bite of that Moroccan tangine chicken, New England crab cakes, Midwestern meatloaf,...
Sunday
Indulge in Moments of Relaxation
Your bookshelves need dusting, the dishes still stand in the sink, the floor needs mopping, and you haven't even gotten around to the laundry, but you need a moment to deflect or discharge the worries of the day. Take that time to indulge in something that makes you feel peaceful and relaxed. For example, sit in a rocker and gaze at the fresh red tulips on the kitchen counter. Walk into your garden and inspect your plants for new green shoots. Drop some bread crumbs for the pigeons and mourning doves or fill the bird feeder with Niger seed for...
Saturday
Write Three Things You Love about Yourself
Do you have an inner critic that constantly reminds you that your nose is too big or your hips are too wide or your chest is too flat? Think of three wonderful things that you love about yourself and write them on a card. They don't have to be your physical attributes; they could include things like “I love my compassionate nature,” or “I love my ability to immediately put other people at ease,” or “I love the fact that I have great inner strength.” Tape the card to your mirror, computer, refrigerator, or other place where you can frequently be...
Friday
Quiet Your Mind Before Starting Your Day
Focus on your thinking at the start of every day. Are your thoughts already racing through your to-do list? Are they jumping from one subject to another through thought associations? Did a troubling dream leave you anxious or angry or fearful upon awakening? If you answered yes to any of those questions, spend ten minutes before you even get out of bed doing a mental check-in. Take deep breaths and be aware of your entire body. Feel anchored and centered in it. Quiet your mind. Think positive thoughts. Dial out the emotions of bad dreams and the...
Thursday
Praise Yourself
You praise your children, your friends, your coworkers, and your spouse whenever they accomplish something praiseworthy, so why not give yourself a one-minute praising for your own achievements? You're not being a braggart or egotistical when you acknowledge some wonderful task or breakthrough you made during your day. You undoubtedly work very hard and probably accomplish much that no one but you recognizes. If you finally played a complicated piano libretto all the way through or found an ingenious way to increase the family budget, tell yourself...
Wednesday
Cultivate Hope When Disaster Hits
If something isn't going well in your life — your child becomes ill, a car broadsides yours in the parking lot, you overdraw your bank account, or the taxi you are riding in on the way to the most important meeting of your life gets ensnarled in traffic — have hope that circumstances will shift and the situation will improve or be resolved. Find the courage to work to change what isn't good right now. Rather than allowing stress and anxiety to fill you with worry and stress, try to feel hopeful. It will be better for you emotionally and physic...
Tuesday
Don't Harbor a Grudge
Holding on to anger, resentment, and hostility hurts you, psychologically, emotionally, and physically. Even if the inciting incident happened only yesterday, the person you are mad at may not even remember the incident, so what's the point? Don't give over your power to have positivity in your life just to harbor a grudge. Find a way to move past it. Take an anger management class or read books offering specific strategies for dealing with anger issues. Take extremely good care of yourself, loving and respecting yourself enough to ensure that...
Monday
Change One of Your Faults
Everyone has faults, but that doesn't mean you are stuck with yours. Pick one you would like to change or eliminate. Take time to do a little self-examination with complete honesty. Do you frequently gossip? Do you have a quick temper and a short fuse? Do you procrastinate and avoid facing problems until they snowball out of control? Or, are you still blaming others for the things that are wrong with your life? Choose to fix what you don't like about yourself. See goodness in yourself and others. Allow your inner strength and joy to be at the heart...
Sunday
Smile More Often
Force yourself to smile. Try it; it's not that difficult. Now hold it for a count of ten and deepen it. Mentally affirm, “I am happy, totally, blissfully happy.” Notice how your mood begins to shift. You can't help but feel a little lighter. Use your smile to start a happiness epidemic. Smile at everyone, everywhere. People are hardwired to respond to the facial expressions they encounter. If you glower at someone, that person will return a frown, but your smile will evoke a smile. You'll feel happier, too, because your body responds to your smile,...
Saturday
Be Happy with Yourself
If you want to find happiness and add years to your life, think happy thoughts. When you choose positive thoughts over negative ones, you are more likely to develop an optimistic outlook on life. According to happiness researchers such as Martin E.P. Seligman, director of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania, and Barbara Fredrickson, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, positive people generally have higher levels of optimism and life satisfaction and live longer. In a BBC...
Friday
Fear and Reason
"In civilized life it has at last become possible for large numbers of people to pass from the cradle to the grave without ever having had a pang of genuine fear. Many of us need an attack of mental disease to teach us the meaning of the word." William James.
We have all heard the seemingly discriminating remarks that fear is normal and abnormal, and that normal fear is to be regarded as a friend, while abnormal fear should be destroyed as an...
Thursday
Exclusive Friendships
An excellent and gentle man of my acquaintance has said, "When fifty-one per cent of the voters believe in cooperation as opposed to competition, the Ideal Commonwealth will cease to be a theory and become a fact."
That men should work together for the good of all is very beautiful, and I believe the day will come when these things will be, but the simple process of fifty-one per cent of the voters casting ballots for socialism will not bring...
Wednesday
Dealing with Others
In all application of magnetism to persons, you are urged to remember that your very first goal, always and preeminently, is an agreeable feeling within their minds. You should never try to induce a person to act your way until you have thoroughly established in him a good feeling toward yourself. This is the prime initial step. When such a condition has been secured, you are then ready for the magnetic assault and then only.
When you are dealing...
Tuesday
Acquire Power Through Self Development
It is the natural right of every human being to be happy to escape all the miseries of life. Happiness is the normal condition, as natural as the landscapes and the seasons. It is unnatural to suffer and it is only because of our ignorance that we do suffer. Happiness is the product of wisdom. To attain perfect wisdom, to comprehend fully the purpose of life, to realize completely the relationship of human beings to each other, is to put an end...
