Impossible Without Your Consent

In tough days we might say, “My work is overwhelming,” or “My boss is really frustrating.” If only we could understand that this is impossible. Someone can’t frustrate you, work can’t overwhelm you these are external objects, and they have no access to your mind. Those emotions you feel, as real as they are, come from the inside, not the outside.

The Stoics use the word hypolêpsis, which means “taking up” of perceptions, thoughts, and judgments by our mind. What we assume, what we willingly generate in our mind, that’s on us. We can’t blame other people for making us feel stressed or frustrated any more than we can blame them for our jealousy. The cause is within us. They’re just the target.

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How to Control Uncontrollable Circumstances in Life

Is it really possible to control an uncontrollable event in life? This is a very difficult question to answer because things happen out of different reasons. There’s always room for being flexible.

In order to stay away from the stigma of being a perfectionist, just focus on the things that you can control. After all, no one is perfect in this world. Some things are not predictable. There’s always a flaw lurking somewhere, an issue looming ahead of you, and a difficulty that you can’t avoid all the time.

One of the most common scenarios is setting an emphasis on goal setting. For example, you can set a measurable plan before doing something. For entrepreneurs, the action plan is to set a specific number of new customers per month and accompanying steps to achieve it. In other words, set all your efforts and energy on the things that you can control.

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Timeless Wisdom

In the mid-twentieth century, there was an Indian Jesuit priest named Anthony de Mello. Born in Bombay when it was still under British control, de Mello was an amalgam of many different cultures and perspectives: East, West; he even trained as a psychotherapist. It’s interesting when one sees timeless wisdom develop across schools, across epochs and ideas. Here is a quote from de Mello’s book, The Way to Love, that sounds almost exactly like Epictetus:

“The cause of my irritation is not in this person but in me.” Remember, each individual has a choice. You are always the one in control. The cause of irritation or our notion that something is bad—that comes from us, from our labels or our expectations. Just as easily, we can change those labels; we can change our entitlement and decide to accept and love what’s happening around us. And this wisdom has been repeated and independently discovered in every century and every country since time began.

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Ready and at Home

President James Garfield was a great man raised in humble circumstances, self-educated, and eventually a Civil War hero whose presidency was cut short by an assassin’s bullet. In his brief time in office, he faced a bitterly divided country as well as a bitterly and internally divided Republican Party. During one fight, which challenged the very authority of his office, he stood firm, telling an adviser: “Of course I deprecate war, but if it is brought to my door the bringer will find me at home.”

That’s what Seneca is saying here. We’d be crazy to want to face difficulty in life. But we’d be equally crazy to pretend that it isn't going to happen. Which is why when it knocks on our door as it very well may this morning  let’s make sure we’re prepared to answer. Not the way we are when a surprise visitor comes late at night, but the way we are when we’re waiting for an important guest: dressed, in the right head space, ready to go.

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The Best Retreat Is In Here, Not Out There

Do you have a vacation coming up? Are you looking forward to the weekend so you can have some peace and quiet? Maybe, you think, after things settle down or after I get this over with. But how often has that ever actually worked?

The Zen meditation teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn coined a famous expression: “Wherever you go, there you are.” We can find a retreat at any time by looking inward. We can sit with our eyes closed and feel our breath go in and out. We can turn on some music and tune out the world. We can turn off technology or shut off those rampant thoughts in our head. That will provide us peace. Nothing else.

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The Sign of True Education

Degree on a wall means you’re educated as much as shoes on your feet mean you’re walking. It’s a start, but hardly sufficient. Otherwise, how could so many “educated” people make unreasonable decisions? Or miss so many obvious things? Partly it’s because they forget that they ought to focus only on that which lies within their power to control. A surviving fragment from the philosopher Heraclitus expresses that reality: “Many who have learned from Hesiod the countless names of gods and monsters never understand that night and day are one.”

Just as you can walk plenty well without shoes, you don’t need to step into a classroom to understand the basic, fundamental reality of nature and of our proper role in it. Begin with awareness and reflection. Not just once, but every single second of every single day.

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Wealth and Freedom are Free

There are two ways to be wealthy to get everything you want or to want everything you have. Which is easier right here and right now? The same goes for freedom. If you chafe and fight and struggle for more, you will never be free. If you could find and focus on the pockets of freedom you already have? Well, then you’d be free right here, right now.

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There is Philosophy in Everything

lutarch, a Roman biographer as well as an admirer of the Stoics, didn't begin his study of the greats of Roman literature until late in life. But, as he recounts in his biography of Demosthenes, he was surprised at how quickly it all came to him. He wrote, “It wasn't so much that the words brought me into a full understanding of events, as that, somehow, I had a personal experience of the events that allowed me to follow closely the meaning of the words.”

This is what Epictetus means about the study of philosophy. Study, yes, but go live your life as well. It’s the only way that you’ll actually understand what any of it means. And more important, it’s only from your actions and choices over time that it will be possible to see whether you took any of the teachings to heart.

Be aware of that today when you’re going to work, going on a date, deciding whom to vote for, calling your parents in the evening, waving to your neighbor as you walk to your door, tipping the delivery man, saying goodnight to someone you love. All of that is philosophy. All of it is experience that brings meaning to the words.

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What Rules Your Ruling Reason?

The Roman satirist Juvenal is famous for this question: Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? (Who watches the watchmen?) In a way, this is what Marcus is asking himself and what you might ask yourself throughout the day. What influences the ruling reason that guides your life? This means an exploration of subjects like evolutionary biology, psychology, neurology, and even the subconscious. Because these deeper forces shape even the most disciplined, rational minds. You can be the most patient person in the world, but if science shows we make poor decisions on an empty stomach what good is all that patience?

So don’t stop at Stoicism, but explore the forces that drive and make Stoicism possible. Learn what underpins this philosophy you’re studying, how the body and mind tick. Understand not only your ruling reason the watchmen but whoever and whatever rules that too.

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Trip to Concepcion, Misamis Occidental

Our friends in the church invited us to visit one of the municipalities of Misamis, Occidental - the beautiful and captivating Municipality of Concepcion, Misamis Occidental. It was a very long journey but we enjoyed the trip. I had a chance to see a beautiful place away from the metro.

Before dinner, we roamed around the town center with our host. We even took photos with Mount Malindang as our backdrop. The air is so cold and the area is clean. It is one of the places that I really liked in Mindanao.

We had a wonderful dinner, too. It feels so good being in the province and I experienced it at that time. The food is delectable, the view is amazing and the people are so friendly. I hope to be back there someday. Thanks to our friends who invited us. Indeed, it was a memorable trip.

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Pay What Things Are Worth

You can buy a Plume Blanche diamond-encrusted sofa for close to two hundred thousand dollars. It’s also possible to hire one person to kill another person for five hundred dollars. Remember that next time you hear someone ramble on about how the market decides what things are worth. The market might be rational, but the people who comprise it are not. Diogenes, who founded the Cynic school, emphasized the true worth (axia) of things, a theme that persisted in Stoicism and was strongly reflected in both Epictetus and Marcus. It’s easy to lose track. When the people around you dump a fortune into trinkets they can’t take with them when they die, it might seem like a good investment for you to make too.

But of course it isn’t. The good things in life cost what they cost. The unnecessary things are not worth it at any price. The key is being aware of the difference.

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Cowardice As A Design Problem

The opposing team comes out strong, establishes an early lead, and you never had time to recover. You walk into a business meeting, are caught off guard, and the whole thing goes poorly. A delicate conversation escalates into a shouting match. You switched majors halfway through college and had to start your coursework over and graduate late. Sound familiar? It’s the chaos that ensues from not having a plan. Not because plans are perfect, but because people without plans like a line of infantrymen without a strong leader are much more likely to get overwhelmed and fall apart.

The Super Bowl winning coach Bill Walsh used to avoid this risk by scripting the beginning of his games. “If you want to sleep at night before the game,” he said in a lecture on game planning, “have your first 25 plays established in your own mind the night before that. You can walk into the stadium and you can start the game without that stress factor.” You’ll also be able to ignore a couple of early points or a surprise from your opponent. It’s irrelevant to you you already have your marching orders.

Don’t try to make it up on the fly. Have a plan.

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Why Do You Need To Impress These People Again?

Is there anything sadder than the immense lengths we’ll go to impress someone? The things we’ll do to earn someone’s approval can seem, when examined in retrospect, like the result of some temporary form of insanity. Suddenly we’re wearing uncomfortable, ridiculous clothes we've been told are cool, eating differently, talking differently, eagerly waiting for a call or text. If we did these things because we liked it, that would be one thing. But that’s not what it is. It’s just a means to an end to get someone to give us the nod. The irony, as Marcus Aurelius points out repeatedly, is that the people whose opinion we covet are not all that great. They’re flawed they’re distracted and wowed by all sorts of silly things themselves. We know this and yet we don’t want to think about it. To quote Fight Club again, “We buy things we don’t need, to impress people we don’t like.”

Doesn’t that sound pretty ridiculous? But more than that, isn’t it about as far as possible as you can get from the serenity and security that philosophy can provide?

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How to Handle Complicating Priorities

In this life, we have complicating priorities. We can’t avoid this circumstance, no matter how hard we try. No wonder it is necessary to know the basic ideas to handle conflicting priorities.

First, you should consider if the distractions might actually be caused by your own doing. In other words, determine the things that will prevent you from achieving your goals. One of the things that will hinder you to manage complicating priorities is procrastination. Nowadays, a lot of individuals become victim of this challenge. As a way to avoid it, sticking to one’s plans must be done.

Second, have a balanced lifestyle. All you have to do is eliminate the distractions. The things that will distract you will most likely sabotage your efforts so you must avoid all of it at all cost.

Lastly, decide what’s most important to you. By doing so, you can set priorities clearly. If you want to achieve something, you must think and act like you’ve already achieved it by having focus and concentration at all times.

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Reason in All Things

Four lives are not ruled by reason, what are they ruled by? Impulse? Whim? Mimicry? Unthinking habit? As we examine our past behavior, it’s sad how often we find this to be the case that we were not acting consciously or deliberately but instead by forces we did not bother to evaluate. It also happens that these are the instances that we’re mostly likely to regret.

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You Are a Product of Your Training

Dog that’s allowed to chase cars will chase cars. A child who is never given any boundaries will become spoiled. An investor without discipline is not an investor he’s a gambler. A mind that isn't in control of itself, that doesn't understand its power to regulate itself, will be jerked around by external events and unquestioned impulses.

That can’t be how you’d like tomorrow to go. So you must be aware of that. You must put in place training and habits now to replace ignorance and ill discipline. Only then will you begin to behave and act differently. Only then will you stop seeking the impossible, the shortsighted, and the unnecessary.

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Be Wary of What You Let In

How much harder is it to do the right thing when you’re surrounded by people with low standards? How much harder is it to be positive and empathetic inside the negativity bubble of television chatter? How much harder is it to focus on your own issues when you’re distracted with other people’s drama and conflict?

We’ll inevitably be exposed to these influences at some point, no matter how much we try to avoid them. But when we are, there is nothing that says we have to allow those influences to penetrate our minds. We have the ability to put our guard up and decide what we actually allow in. Uninvited guests might arrive at your home, but you don’t have to ask them to stay for dinner. You don’t have to let them into your mind.

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How to Stay Committed to Your Goal Without Being Too Harsh to Yourself

Many people think that setting goals is very essential to achieve success. Basically, this is a positive attitude that you should cultivate on a regular basis. For those who find it hard to continue facing challenges, always remember that quitting is simply not an option.

As we’ve learned in an earlier post, practicing on a daily basis is important. In this case, you can think of a goal that you have been working on for years that you can’t afford to let it go. Were you able to achieve your goals? If it is too difficult, how will you remain steadfast to achieve it?

You’ve got two choices here. First, you want to make your goals so important, as if your life depended on it. For instance, you want to solve your health issues as early as possible. Work on it without ceasing. Or maybe you want to stay away from professional stagnation. Get it done the right way. Second, you can choose a better goal. By doing so, you’ll be able to focus on things that you really think so valuable to you. Just work on that goals that are really beneficial to you or those things that are really close to your heart.

Do you have goals this year? You can evaluate yourself about it. Take note of your progress. If you want to share it with me, leave your comments below and let’s talk about it.

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The Color Of Your Thoughts

If you bend your body into a sitting position every day for a long enough period of time, the curvature of your spine changes. A doctor can tell from a radiograph (or an autopsy) whether someone sat at a desk for a living. If you shove your feet into tiny, narrow dress shoes each day, your feet begin to take on that form as well.

The same is true for our mind. If you hold a perpetually negative outlook, soon enough everything you encounter will seem negative. Close it off and you’ll become closed-minded. Color it with the wrong thoughts and your life will be dyed the same.

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Tahanan ni Aling Meding Hotel at San Pablo Laguna

Welcome back to my blog! I just want to share one of my favorite places in the Philippines - San Pablo in Laguna. It is dubbed as the City of Seven Lakes because it has seven beautiful lakes that will truly entice you.

During the trip, we haven't prepared a plan so we just walked at Sampaloc Lake pathway until we found a beautiful home away from home, the Tahanan ni Aling Meding Hotel. Our budget for accommodation is less than P 3,000.00 for an overnight stay so this is perfect for us. Here are helpful information if you want to visit the hotel.

The telephone numbers are:

(049) 562 5855

(049) 562 5851

Manila Line 02 520 6089

USA Line 925 478 6038

Mobile Globe 0917 592 2830

Mobile Smart 0939 938 7362

Their email address is admin@tahanan.info

Website is www.tahahanhotel.com

Place: Dagatan Blvd, San Pablo City, Laguna

Even if it's not obvious in my photo 😀, I really enjoyed our stay here. It was so hot when we traveled to the place but the air is fresh so it was just fine. Aside from that, the hotel is located right in front of Sampaloc Lake so it's very relaxing. We walked in the boulevard and enjoyed picture-taking. I'll definitely go back here for another chance to enjoy the breathtaking view. 💓

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Don’t Let This Go To Your Head

It is difficult even to conceive of what life must have been like for Marcus Aurelius—he wasn’t born emperor, nor did he obtain the position deliberately. It was simply thrust upon him. Nevertheless, he was suddenly the richest man in the world, head of the most powerful army on earth, ruling over the largest empire in history, considered a god among men.

It’s no wonder he wrote little messages like this one to remind himself not to spin off the planet. Without them, he might have lost his sense of what was important—falling prey to the lies from all the people who needed things from him. And here we are, whatever we happen to be doing, at risk of spinning off ourselves.

When we experience success, we must make sure that it doesn’t change us that we continue to maintain our character despite the temptation not to. Reason must lead the way no matter what good fortune comes along.

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How to Strengthen Your Willpower?

Are you looking for ideas on how to strengthen your willpower? We know that having a strong-willed personality is essential in facing life’s challenges. After all, there are a lot of oppositions in life that we must face on a daily basis.

The primary step to have a strong willpower is to set an intention and stick to it. To do this, start with smaller intentions before trying out bigger ones. For example, set an intention to avoid eating unhealthy food for a day. In this way, you can learn to follow your intention religiously as scheduled.

If you experience hardship in doing the job, always remember not to give up. Just strengthen your resolve and continue following your intention. The most important thing is that you do it on a regular basis and with a great resolve. Lastly, make sure to practice setting intentions.

Do you like this post? If so, please share this to your friends. You can also share your comments below.

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Trust But Verify

One of the wonders of your mind is the quickness with which it can comprehend and categorize things. As Malcolm Gladwell wrote in Blink, we are constantly making split-second decisions based on years of experience and knowledge as well as using the same skill to confirm prejudices, stereotypes, and assumptions. Clearly, the former thinking is a source of strength, whereas the latter is a great weakness. We lose very little by taking a beat to consider our own thoughts. Is this really so bad? What do I really know about this person? Why do I have such strong feelings here? Is anxiety really adding much to the situation? What’s so special about __________?

By asking these questions by putting our impressions to the test as Epictetus recommends we’re less likely to be carried away by them or make a move on a mistaken or biased one. We’re still free to use our instincts, but we should always, as the Russian proverb says, “trust, but verify.”

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Expect to Change Your Opinions

How often do we begin some project certain we know exactly how it will go? How often do we meet people and think we know exactly who and what they are? And how often are these assumptions proved to be completely and utterly wrong?

This is why we must fight our biases and preconceptions: because they are a liability. Ask yourself: What haven’t I considered? Why is this thing the way it is? Am I part of the problem here or the solution? Could I be wrong here? Be doubly careful to honor what you do not know, and then set that against the knowledge you actually have.

Remember, if there is one core teaching at the heart of this philosophy, it’s that we’re not as smart and as wise as we’d like to think we are. If we ever do want to become wise, it comes from the questioning and from humility not, as many would like to think, from certainty, mistrust, and arrogance.

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Recreation As a Way To Discover Amazing Things

One of the best ways to have a remarkable lifestyle is to have a regular recreation plan. Maybe, you can travel with your family and friends, or visit a fancy restaurant. Other people choose to enjoy amusement parks and take a lot of photos. Whether you're working from home or have an office-based work, it is really essential to enjoy recreational activities once in a while.

Another way to take a break is to enjoy outdoor sports. Your choices include basketball, tennis and soccer. If you love outdoor activities, choose hiking and biking. In that way, you will have a chance to visit mountains, exciting trails and other beautiful places.

As mentioned earlier, it is important to have planning before doing it. The best way to start planning is to know your reasons in engaging into these activities such as having new friends or ensuring a healthy body.

What are your favorite recreational activities? Share in the comments below. Let's talk about it.

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Best Solutions for Lifetime Growth

We’re not bound to fail in our endeavours if we are prepared to accept defeat. By defeat, I meant inability to get what we want no matter how we try. There are things that are beyond our control so we don’t have to be harsh on ourselves.

Even if we know that life is a challenge, we shouldn’t deny that it is also interesting. Everyday, we learn to deal with problems graciously. For lifetime growth, we seek knowledge and guidance from people who have made it to the cut – getting what they really want and being able to share it with others – and never take it for granted.

The best way to face failure is to accept that sometimes it happens. Just stand up, think about your goals and cut the losses. There’s always next time. Who knows? You’ll be able to get what you want the next time around.

By the way, don’t fail to learn more about this topic. Click on the suggested topics for you in this page.

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Courage in Times of Challenges

Every person experiences challenges in this life. It is always the opposite of happiness. In all footsteps you take everyday, there are always problems. Many people are suffering that distressing situation like poverty, loss of a loved one and sickness. Others suffer mental grief. Even if we strive to be happy, there is always opposition in all things.

What are the ways to combat stress because of many challenges? There are myriad ways to stay strong amidst problems. Don’t think you can’t solve any of your problems in life. It’s the first step to be victorious in the daily battles of life. Remember, your strength is all in your mind. If you just think positive, you’ll never feel the burden. I didn’t say it is not heavy, I just meant that it’s easier to carry that way.

Lastly, don’t forget to put spices in your life. If you don’t have time for recreation, you’re way behind in having a balanced life. Take your time in appreciating the things around you. Be grateful for all that you have. Isn’t it the first step to receive countless blessings?

We are blessed to share more information with you. Take time to click on the suggested topics for more ideas.

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Accurate Self Assessment

Most people resist the idea of a true self-estimate, probably because they fear it might mean downgrading some of their beliefs about who they are and what they’re capable of. As Goethe’s maxim goes, it is a great failing “to see yourself as more than you are.” How could you really be considered self-aware if you refuse to consider your weaknesses?

Don’t fear self-assessment because you’re worried you might have to admit some things about yourself. The second half of Goethe’s maxim is important too. He states that it is equally damaging to “value yourself at less than your true worth.” Is it not equally common to be surprised at how well we’re able to handle a previously feared scenario? The way that we’re able to put aside the grief for a loved one and care for others though we always thought we’d be wrecked if something were to happen to our parents or a sibling. The way we’re able to rise to the occasion in a stressful situation or a life-changing opportunity.

We underestimate our capabilities just as much and just as dangerously as we overestimate other abilities. Cultivate the ability to judge yourself accurately and honestly. Look inward to discern what you’re capable of and what it will take to unlock that potential.

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The Source of Your Anxiety

The anxious father, worried about his children. What does he want? A world that is always safe. A frenzied traveler what does she want? For the weather to hold and for traffic to part so she can make her flight. A nervous investor? That the market will turn around and an investment will pay off.

All of these scenarios hold the same thing in common. As Epictetus says, it’s wanting something outside our control. Getting worked up, getting excited, nervously pacing these intense, pained, and anxious moments show us at our most futile and servile. Staring at the clock, at the ticker, at the next checkout lane over, at the sky it’s as if we all belong to a religious cult that believes the gods of fate will only give us what we want if we sacrifice our peace of mind.

Today, when you find yourself getting anxious, ask yourself: Why are my insides twisted into knots? Am I in control here or is my anxiety? And most important: Is my anxiety doing me any good?

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The Law of Radiation

This  expression of Divine Activity is one of the most practical utility. Understanding radiatory, or emanatory condition of all substances as a specific point in evolution allows one to approach Reality. It is the outer effect produced by all forms in all kingdoms when their internal activity has reached such a stage of vibratory activity that the confining walls of the form no longer form a prison, but permit the liberation of the subjective essence. Liberation means the ability of any conscious atom to pass out of one sphere of energized influence into another of a higher vibration of a larger and wider expanse of conscious realization.

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