The stress is the conflict of your thoughts, values, behavior and actions with the norms that your environment has. If you’re a smoker, the conflict may arise when you meet non-smokers. Your family may not fully agree with what you feel and think are normal. Some places may restrict you from smoking as well. All these oppositions cause you stress.
1. Conflict with environment. You try to cope with the standards set by your surroundings and the people in it. Your habits are in conflict with the rules and beliefs of your environment, which is the main reason why you’re motivated to get rid of them.
2. Conflict with self. When you develop a habit, you internalize the behavior even if it may not be fully good for you. Stress comes as you try to fix the intrinsic factors that cause your habits without reason or reward. Apprehension increases as you feel that you do not have full control over yourself.
How Do You Control the Environment?
1. Respond to the environment. Do not change your thoughts and behavior abruptly just because you feel the environment wants them to be different. Contemplate and review specifically each of your internalized thoughts and feelings with the opposing notions set by the environment. Identify how you can make them work together through cognitive consonance.
2. Use self-regulation. Self-regulation is the important factor that made you internalize your habits in the first place, and it is also capable of eliminating them. Practice self-regulation or self-control. Keep in mind that the habit may not actually be satisfying any of your needs and you only derive pleasure and passion from the habits. Gradually remove the internal stimuli.
What is the Goal and Response?
Your primary goal is to feel a sense of achievement and self-control and the belief that you are capable of kicking habits that may not be fully good for you. Your secondary goals are that by kicking bad habits, you keep yourself healthy and get to spend your time, money and effort on satisfying your real basic needs. Your response is to practice self-regulation and remove the developed intrinsic motivation that is feeding your habits.
Allow the need to kick the habits to motivate you, then maintain fiery motivation with each gradual success until you’re completely free.
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